"'Cause what she's doin' now is tearin' me apart
Fillin' up my mind and emptyin' my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doin' now"
-Garth Brooks What's funny to me is that I was the one who had to prove to YOU that I wouldn't hurt you. You didn't trust that I cared about you. And I told you that didn't matter- I'd prove it with my actions, not just my words. And I did. What did it get me? It got ME a broken heart, not you. You're fine. You didn't get hurt outta this deal. I let go of my past. Lord knows I needed to. You helped me turn over a new leaf and become a better person. You showed me what it felt like to care unselfishly. You showed me what I want out of life. You showed me unmatched happiness and how it feels to have no control whatsoever on my own heart. I was happy in the relationship I was in prior to you. It was going well. Then I saw you. I had to have you. I let go of what I had for you. I gave it all up for you. And I learned about how your heart had been broken in the past and vowed to myself to help you fix it and move on in life. But I never got the chance. I never got the chance to show you how much more I had to offer. You only got your feet wet. I have so much more to offer. For the first time in my life, I had what I wanted. I didn't just settle for what was around me. I had EVERYTHING I wanted and then some. I had the butterflies when you kissed me. I had the trembling when you touched me. The melting when you looked at me. I had what I had been waiting 20 years for- complete and utter happiness. That's why it hurts so bad right now. The ones that have the power to make you the happiest also have the power to rip your life away. So how do you know you can trust them with that power? You don't. You just let yourself fall and hope they will catch you. Hope they won't use that power against you. I gave you that power. I fell hard for you. And I hoped and prayed that it wasn't a mistake. It was. You never deserved the power I gave you if you can give up on us just like that. If you can drop all the words we shared, all the memories we made, and all the promised that had yet to be filled, when someone more appealing comes along. At first you gave me happiness and love. Now you've given me apprehension. The next person I date will pay for what you've done to me because I won't be able to fall. I won't be able to trust that they won't take my feelings and run with them. I won't be able to believe that the way they look at me actually means something. I hope you're happy. | 
